I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
