she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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