Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
