I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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