Your dad touched me again.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
