I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
