Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
