i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
