Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
