porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
