Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
