she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize