Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
