I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So vagazzling was a success
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
