Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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