Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
