I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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