Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
