Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
