yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
