and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize