I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
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