i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
