I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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