if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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