i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
