Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
