At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How external is "for external use only"?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
