i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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