So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
