He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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