it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
