you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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