Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
