planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
