So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
