we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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