i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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