I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
try to milk me bitch
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