I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
