tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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