i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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