New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
