It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
