The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
