just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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