So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
