Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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