Nicole vs. Life
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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