And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
