Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk is a universal language darling
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
