Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
