it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
