K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
