Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize