I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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