so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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