Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
