I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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