so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize