The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
