hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
