i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
