sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize