i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
