It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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