My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize