I heard we made out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
