you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
