Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
