Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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