I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
