Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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