$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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