I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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