Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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