You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
