Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
