she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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