yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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