Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
