in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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